That's what Jamilah told me in the instant messenger. This was her reaction to a thing I did yesterday, and of course she was quoting it from the Nobel Peace prize list :p Anyhow, those words kind of reflected to what i felt for what I did yesterday, the greatest decision in the universe, my universe that is. I don't really like to talk about my work here, but this incident warrants me to do it, as it has to do a lot with me personally. This is what happened yetserday:
My boss, let's call him Boss A (no name given to protect identity), had told his PA to tell Boss B, to tell me at 3pm on 5 December that he has chosen me to be the MC for that night's function at PICC. WTF?! That was too short a notice, but I knew that I could do it. It was a function hosted by a VVIP, for 300 German agents, organized by. I have been an MC for a function of 400 pax, I was also requested to be the MC on the day of the function previously at Prince Hotel, I could do it. Not that I was too a great MC, but I have conquered my stage fright in my earlier days, through training and I could do it. Compared to some people, I don't necessarily have the best voice, or the best words, but I was there and available.
Anyway, when Boss B asked me to be the MC, I didn't exactly said yes, he saw my hesitation, I said better find another person to be the MC. I heard that somebody was approached to be the MC, but they have given the execuses that it was too late. I was feeling trapped, and pissed because I knew that the request came from Boss A. He could've easily ask me, like what he did the previous day to ask me to do something, through call and sms. But he didn't...
There was another incident. I became the MC for a previous function in Prince Hotel, Boss B promised that I would be given a token of RM400. Hey, that's an incentive for you to be MC, so that other staff would do it too. There's nothing wrong in receiving that token, because we have to make some sacrifices like time spent at dinner, where you have to come at 6pm for an 8pm function, which normally would finish at 10.30pm if you're lucky. Anyhow, Boss A refused to sign the release for the payment of the token. That kinda did it for me. Why the hell shouldn't I be paid like everyone else??? Am I not good enough for the money? What about me sacrificing my time?? I don't care for the dinners, and at that point of time, for the money. This is about recognition of your boss for what you did, to the Division, and ultimately to the country. I'm doing something for my country, and why can't he appreciate it??
Anyway, I rejected to be the MC on the grounds that it was a short notice, and I already have something to do that night. I don't think that the event would fall apart without me, and it didn't. I didn't feel the usual remorse or guilt. I have a right to say no, and I exercised it.
I have made a point of standing up for myself, and ultimately I realise, if I don't do it, then nobody else will.