Thursday, 16 September 2010

Being a Teenager

High school was a trying time for many of us. I wasn't popular in my second secondary school, but I get along well with others. I wasn't conventionally thin like all the other girls in school. I think I was a bit pretty (oh! the vainess of it all). Sure I had a lot of crushes but nothing materialize coz I never did anything about them. I didn't think anybody was interested in me.

Imagine my surprise when one day, a boy handed me a letter, mail from another boy. My heart was pounding in my ears, I was nervous and curious from where it was from, so I read the letter. In it were a school boy's confession of desire to know me more, and could I please call him at the numbers stated in the letter to get the ball rolling. Lo and behold, he was from my class. I remembered thinking that he was painfully shy and a bit reclusive. But he had the nerve to write me this letter, it must have taken up all he could to muster his courage to compose me that letter.

I never thought of him that way. I was indignant that he couldn't talk to me like a normal person would. I remembered thinking that we are classmates, therefore we are friends, and friends can talk to each other. I thought that I could talk to him next day about this 'thing', and I didn't call him as requested. But he didn't show up in school, and it went on for days. Then out of the blue, he would show up in school but missed lessons, and that became his pattern throughout the remainder of the school year. I felt guilty that he had skipped school because he was embarrassed by my rejection, or lack of response thereof by not calling upon him as stated. I felt responsible for him not doing well in school. We did passed by each other in the school hallways but it became one of those awkwards moments that I quickly pushed behing the corners of my mind.

Did I really made him reacted the way he did? I don't know as I never had the nerve to pursue it. I guess in some way, he was braver than me when he wrote that letter. Or maybe I didn't have the chance to explain myself. But anyway, I thought that a person should determine how his/her life's going to be despite the circumstances surrounding it. I'm not accountable for what happened but it would be nice if I could have a chance to say my peace.

1 comment:

fantaghiro said...

we were still young, we don't know what boys think..hehehe
so don't kick yourself about it.. i am sure he will remember this with fondness...