Ms Fantaghiro, Kolat and I were talking tonight about friends and relationships and I was reminded about something that happened back in Uni days. There was a very good lesson me and Ms Fantaghiro learned about good friends & relationships:
Cardinal rule: Never get involved in other people's relationship, even if they are your good friends.
We had a couple who were both our friends. Lets call them Jack and Jill. They were dubbed "UMBC" - "University's Most Boring Couple". Yep, you guessed it, they're like "belangkas", it was almost impossible to see the one without the other, unless of course, inside the dorm. They'do do things together, eat together, go places together. They were seemingly the most loving couple you've ever met. But like most couples, arguments do happen about some thing or the other.
One night, Jack was so upset at Jill that he began asking some of Jill's friends about her behaviour and other things that she had done. Some of Jill's friends thought that it was wise to lay all the cards on the table so that Jack would realise what kind of person Jill was. Some of the things said were better left unsaid. They began swapping stories about Jill. Maybe they think that this will give Jack a better insight on Jill.
Not long after swapping stories, Jack suddenly made up with Jill. The best part was that, Jack told Jill everything about what her friends spoke about her. The good, the bad and the evil...laid bare. Can you imagine the surprise Jill's friends felt? Those were the things that her friends talked about her behind her back. Both parties must've felt that they couldn't trust each other. Luckily, me and Ms Fantaghiro didn't say a thing because we didn't like to butt in personal matters, plus we were no relationship expert.
Two important lessons here:
One: Some men are jerks and can never be trusted completely;
Two: Never be in the way of two lovers quarelling, or it may backfire to you!
Which was what happened in the story above. Never get involved in other people's personal matters even if they are your good friends. You never know when somebody is looking for leverage. Even if you are a relationship expert, you should refrain from commenting so biasedly or comment at all if you think you may be trapped in a tricky situation. Don't offer free advice, especially to those who didn't ask for your help. Your friend may not be comfortable with you intruding in their personal matters, and commenting or forecasting the outcome of the relationship. I know I don't. Let your friend live his/her own life, they don't need to know what's going to happen in their relationship. Even if they ask for your help, be sure to dish out your advice carefully. You don't need to be a know-it-all person.
Be a friend, not their guidance counselor :p