Sunday, 28 December 2008

Parenting 101: Discipline

What is it with parents nowadays?

They give in to their children so easily, which resulted in spoiled and/or rotten behaviour. They whine for hours or throw tantrum at their own disposal when their wants (not needs) are not fullfilled. This is my observation based on some people's kids that I knew. I've nothing against them but sometimes I've just had enough of them, and in my mind, I'd find ways to torture them i.e. tempeleng sampai bodo (slap 'em silly, get it?!!), bang their heads on the wall and/or bind them with cellophane tape. These are just results of an over-imaginative mind plus sakit hati and jiwa at having to bear with screaming kids, at which their parents do nothing about to shush them. I think that fact makes me more sakit hati than the screaming kids themselves. I mean, kids are kids. The parents have to teach them what's right or wrong, the can or can't do, all the right stuff, etc.

My mum always said: I'm your mother, not your friend. Thus, it implies that you need to treat your parents with respect and there should be some boundary as to which a person should behave towards their parents. Don't treat them like your friend - when you don't feel like talking, you just ignore them.

It is said in Islam that when a child is born, his/her heart is pure like a white cloth. Then it is up to the parents to shape/color it any way that they see fit. The problem is that when a child is not properly disciplined then they would behave or do something inappropriate and get away with it because their parents have gone "soft" on the child and would not be able to punish them accordingly. Discipline must start from a young age, it is impossible to instill it once your child have grown up. Children have to learn conditional learning (this is Intro to Psychology), when they do something bad, then the parents reproach or scold them accordingly. In time they will learn that the particular behaviour is unaccaptable or bad. Makes me think hard about rearing kids if I can't do it properly, if they should end up being a nuisance to other people. Being parents, normally they would be oblivious to their child's fault and would only think that their child is the more angelic than others.

Maybe we should make parenting class compulsory to all parents.....

Oh well, what do I know......I'm not a parent yet. I just pray to God that my child doesn't turn out to be a brat and that I wouldn't be so oblivious to his/her fault and that I would have the strength to discipline them. Amin.

9 comments:

la Signora said...

You and I have the same sentiments when it comes to parenthood.I'm truly disgusted with the level of kurang ajarness of kids today.Here in Tanah Kanggaru, lagi teruk.Somehow they think it's cute to have a kid jawab-balik at the parents when deyrang (the kids) kene tegur makbapak.I hate kids who goes into their setan-mode bila pegi rumah urang, and the makbapak polah dono jak.Sik pandei tegur anak dikpun.Like you, I dok imagine terajang the kid.Sigh.I too am a bit afraid when it comes to kids...praying that my kiddies won't be disrespectful brats.

p.s I ♥ doing your tags,darling.

Beautiful Life said...

The fact that the parents doesn't do anything ya paling ngesak hati, while the rest of us have to bear with the screaming kid....ya lah, aku mok nagnok lebih2 susah juak, ne tau kelak anak aku pun jadi mcm ya juak....

Darling, do my tags more often huargh huargh huargh

fantaghiro said...

there were MANY times when i really felt like slapping the parents..for being so bloody stupid to ignore when they children misbehave..
tak pahamla aku parents nowadays..is it just a race as to sapa yg banyak keluarkan budak tapi when it comes to discipline, mmg zero habis...
suka ati jer bagi anak diorang yg equivalent to fugly trolls tu berdiri with their bloody dirty shoes on public seats on LRT and stuff...mcm haram jer..ntah la wei..buhsan tol tgk these bloody gampang nyer parents..these ppl should be castrated...nyemak jer kat dunia ni..membiak lak tu..horror tol...

Qirzah said...

I hate kids.

They should have never been invented! Especially the screaming crying in public ones. Those are the worse.

Beautiful Life said...

I share your sentiments, folks. I hate screaming kids in public too. And the parents just try to pacify them with treats. I say a good smacking will do better.

salzahari said...

Sorry to comment here...istighfar ye. Allah bagi kita budak2, anak2 supaya sbg satu juga cara menguji iman.

Sbb tu kita kena ajar dgn baik...I agreed yg mmg salah kalau parents yg tak berani tegur as kids are kids.kids mmg suka main dan kurang tahu adab (kecuali parents dah ajar awal).

Tapi ada gak yg parents dah ajar baik,tp bl remaja salah campur.. Rosak jgk,tak adil jgk nak salah parents 100%.

Wait when u become a parent, then u know it's not that easy to discipline your kids. kids are human too, not a robot which we can switch on-off / change channel as we like!

fantaghiro said...

melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya... :-)

kalau dari kecik pareants buat tak tahu, bila dah besar????

kalau dah rosak jugak masa teenager tu, itu banyak faktor lain..

Beautiful Life said...

Hi Sal,

Thanks for your comments...anyway, the posting is targeted more to the parents than the kids. It's how u discipline the kids, external factors like pergaulan semasa remaja tidak diambil kira dalam posting ini. This is more to pre-school and/or primary school kids.

I remembered my father using the rotan to give us a lesson when me and my siblings were small. Not torture, but show what is right/wrong. Of course we hated it, but it did made us a more diciplined person. Kalau dulu nak sesuatu barang, i remembered having to save months for it. Seksa! Nowadays, parents have to give way to their kids demands because they throw tantrum in the middle of a shopping mall.

Ok, malas nak cakap panjang sbb aku pun takder anak lagi...mana tau nanti kot2 anak aku turn out to be a brat! Anyway, I have nothing against the kids....

salzahari said...

Nuwal...
aku paham post tu psl pe! mcm korang sume, aku mmg marah jugak kalau parents budak2 buat taktahu/ ambik mudah psl anak tmbh bila dah remaja.

aku cuma terkesima ayat satu comments "I hate kids.They should have never been invented!" seolah2 mtk takde budak. Jgn meyesal bila nti nak anak, Tuhan tak bagi! @ maybe ko kena rephrase ayat ko and focus more on parents attitude rather than the the kids' tantrum.

aku pun dulu abg aku yg control lebih2...hahha! time tu mmg nyampahss! tapi kan, skrg syukur sbb dgn ajaran mcm tulah kita jadi matang, ye tak? tp kdg2 apa yg kita kutuk org, nti benda tu sikit sbyk jadi jugak pd kita and i'd experienced it a bit now :p so now, still learning how to handle.

berdoala sama2, moga kita semua diberi kekuatan dan iman serta ilmu yg cukup nak discipline anak zmn skrg.